Hey Guys,
You have two choices: either you can post your Indian Ocean thesis for critique by other students or you can review a thesis posted by another student. Extra credit for anyone who can figure out how you (the students) can make posts on my blog. In the meantime, you can comment on this post. Also, I think it is a good idea to become a "follower" of my blog so you get notifications when I update it. Cheers!
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My thesis: In the south, sotheast, and Asia, the Indian Ocean trade has changed economically, culturally, and demographically from 500 BCE to 600 CE and then 1400 CE.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I would suggest is adding the continuity or what stayed the same over time. It is good, but that is missing. If you wanted to you could even be more specific using what changed from beginning, middle and end.
ReplyDeleteThanx that helped :)
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree. You need more to the thesis. Don't worry if it is too wordy. Also, what do you mean "In the south, southeast AND Asia?" Did you mean East Asia? You should state how it changed economicall, culturally and demographically.
ReplyDeletedo we have 2 do dat for all 3 regions like how it changed in da 3 ways? (from sandra)
ReplyDeleten ms randall, do we have 2 post our thesis up or could we just edit on our own using help from the posts?
ReplyDeletems randall last ques for 2day, for the thesis do we need to hand it in or anything?:D
ReplyDeleteCommunication in the Middle East, East Africa and East Asia has caused major changes and continuities during the time period of 500 B.C.E. through 1400 C.E. With advancements on the way, the spread of Islamic trading progressed leading networks into East Africa. In the Middle East, long distance travel was reduced and East Asia experienced new technology, yet the spread of disease. Hence, the Indian Ocean trade changed economically, culturally, and demographically over time.
ReplyDelete-Kimberly
I think that your thesis is very good however, you dont state what stayed the same. Also, does it say all that info in the packet? You should explain more the economic, cultural and demographic changes. Say how they changed from beginning, middle to end. You have some continuities but explain them more and write " " stayed the same.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Viola the thesis was really good but you didn't say how the Middle East, East Africa and East Asia stayed the same.
ReplyDeletethanks Viola and Aisha, im going to make the corrections =]
ReplyDeletewait, is Ms.Randall collecting this??
ReplyDeleteCaroline: I agree with Viola.I think that it is a little too short and what Viola said to add is definately needed to improve your thesis.
ReplyDeleteKim:I really liked your thesis. It could use a little more information on what parts of the time periods things had changed during such as the beginning, middle, and end like Viola also said.
Viola: she didn't say she was but i think she might be collecting it because not everyone has posted theirs on the blog. Either that or she is going to review with us in class like she was thinking of doing today but the fire drill sorta delayed us.
thank you , and i definnitely agree with you
ReplyDeleteI will collect it so you know if you did it correctly. What's the point? If I don't collect it, you won't do it, right?
ReplyDeleteAlso, when posting on my blog, it is a school/academic thing, so that means please refrain from using slang and text terms. Be professional. Thank you.
As for posting your thesis...you must make some kind of comment so you don't have to post yours, but you must critique someone else's. Then you can fix your own from others' comments.
Kim, great first attempt on the thesis. I like it. The comments were also very helpful. One question, did long-distance trade in the Middle East stop?
ReplyDeleteAlso, we can work out a due date on Monday. I know you guys are all working on your powerpoint presentations. I am excited about them! See you Monday.
Also, did you guys join the Facebook group? I see that there are 20+ people. Can you post your thesis statements there? Or is there some other glitch we need to work out?
ReplyDeleteok. So is the thesis due tommorow?
ReplyDeleteKimberly, you have a pretty well done thesis. But in your thesis you only mentioned the positive/achievements of the time period and not the negative/disadvantages. But overall your thesis was well written and just needed a little fixing. =)
ReplyDeleteIndian Ocean Thesis:
ReplyDeleteFrom 500 BCE to 600 CE, the Indian Ocean regions (South, Southeast, and East Asia) expanded because of advanced technology to Swahilis interacting with Islamic merchants during 600 CE through 1400 CE which increased the growth of trade. By 1400 CE to present, the arrivals of Europeans took a part on seeking money in silk and spices trade. During most of these periods, the traders were selling exotic goods which made the whole region to maintain as a strong trade.
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ReplyDeleteIndian Ocean Thesis:
ReplyDeleteAround the 5th century BCE, major changes began to occur throughout East Africa, the Middle East, and South Asia. Different economic, demographic, and cultural factors caused these changes and continuities, such as trade, which caused interaction with different cultures, as well as migrations, due to exiles. Other factors included increase in food surplus, which was caused by technological advancements, starting at 500 BCE, (Classical period), throughout 600 CE, (Postclassical period) to 1400 CE (end of Postclassical; Early Modern times). However, long distance travel for trade, and the desire for exotic goods such as silk and spices remained.
- Saffa
[queenieisbored thesis]
ReplyDeleteThe thesis is great overall, however it is missing a few things.
1.) Remember, this CCOT thesis/essay only calls for the time period bt/w 600CE-1400CE. [Take out the part w/ 1400-present]
2.) Secondly, you need 3 factors for the particular changes that you'll be talking about. Stay general though, for ex. demographic, economic, etc. factors and THEN include a specific example of the factor
3.) Lastly just include what stayed the same from 600-1400CE
Alright, thanks Alam !
ReplyDelete(This is a response to Saffa's thesis)
ReplyDeleteYour thesis is extremely well written and I like the fact that you touched on all major points. You included the regions and the causes of change, as well as continuities, which many have forgotten to add. Although I think you could do without the extra statements that included the era. I think you should use either the names of the time period or the dates, not both as it sounds redundant. Overall I think that your thesis is the best so far!
(And I apologize for posting this late, I had a problem with my internet)
Thanks, Emelly! I'll try to watch out for that next time. =D
ReplyDelete